He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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