At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
