i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
