So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
