so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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