Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Randomize
