@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
