For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
