i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
