I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
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