we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
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