I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Randomize
