So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Randomize
