no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Randomize
