I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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