That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
