Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
do nipples grow back?
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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