C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Randomize
