So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Randomize
