Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
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