Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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