Jerry, you need to find god
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
