Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
