We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Randomize
