Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Randomize
