Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
