she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
