dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I feel great
I just peed on a car
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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