nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize