Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
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