Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Randomize
