i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Randomize
