She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Randomize
