Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
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