so that wasnt chicken after all
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Randomize
