i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
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