Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
The ass gains better be worth it
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