last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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