How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
