cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
We have started to decorate penises.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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