Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Randomize
