Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
