i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I am naked and annoyed.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Randomize
