I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I'm too high and old for this...
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
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