her vagine was all disorganized.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
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