Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize