my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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