Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize