Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
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