dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
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