Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Randomize
