you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Randomize
