Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
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