Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize