What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Your cock deserves a montage
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Randomize
