I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
