somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Randomize
