I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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