and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Randomize
