Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Randomize
