How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Randomize
