That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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