Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
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