bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
